RECIPE FOR A HARD WORKER. FUNNY OR TRUE?

MY VERDICT

1. Walk with a document in your hands.

It gives the impression that you are a hardworking employee. With nothing in your hands, you look like you are heading for the cafeteria, with a newspaper you look like you are heading for the toilet. Make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, creating the impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use The Computer.

It always looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mails, chat, do everything without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss: and I assure you: "you will get caught" Your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training money.

3. Keep a Messy desk

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For you, it looks like you are not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the casual observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your workspace, look for the document (you buried hafway down in an existing stack and rummage) when the person arrives.

4. Keep your Phone on Voice Mail

Do not answer immediately, people calling for work will call back. That's no way to live. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there and many other colleagues are around. It looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Look Impatient and Annoyed

It gives your colleagues and bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but had no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours 15 minutes before opening times and 15minutes after closing times and during public holidays.

7. Sigh for effect

Perform a little bit of creative sighing when there are colleagues and others around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Cubicle Library

Put lots of books on the floor, very high, thick books that you never read, like complicated computer manuals. It frightens the casual looker off your desk and you know the impression it leaves behind.

9. Impressive Vocabulary

Read up on some computer crap and manuals and pick out all the jargon used in your specific trade and more at random information on new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure will sound impressive.

10. Most Important:

You Be the Judge of the above points. True or Funny?

BUT REMEMBER THESE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS

When you take a long time,you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.


When you don't show up on time for a meeting, you're late.
When your boss doesn't show up on time for a meeting, he must have been delayed.

Haha, maybe I had also worked.